Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Boys in the Hood!

The Watch  (20th Century Fox, 2012)

Before the Camera:

Ben Stiller  (Empire of the Sun)
Vince Vaughn  (Domestic Disturbance)
Jonah Hill  (Accepted)
Richard Ayoade (TV's The IT Crowd)
Rosemary DeWitt  (Cinderella Man)
Will Forte  (Beerfest)
Erin Moriarty  (TV's One Life to Live)
Mel Rodriguez  (Little Miss Sunshine)
Doug Jones  (Hellboy)
Nicholas Braun  (Sky High)
R. Lee Ermey (Hexed!)

Behind the Camera:

Directed by Akiva Schaffer

Produced by Blondel Aidoo, Monica Levinson, Shawn Levy, Tom McNulty, and Billy Rosenberg

Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen, and Evan Goldberg

Evan Trautwig (Stiller) is your average suburban guy – he’s the manager at the local Costco; he heads up a “running club;” and he and his wife are working to start a family. When a Costco security guard is killed in the store, Trautwig seizes the moment to form a neighborhood watch group. At the recruiting meeting, only three men show up: Bob (Vaughn), who uses the watch to spy on his teenage daughter's dating; Franklin (Hill), a slightly unbalanced young man unable to join the police force due to various physical and mental issues; and Jamarcus (Ayoade), a recently divorced man. While Evan works diligently to make the watch effective; the others use it as an excuse to drink and party. But one night, while driving around, they accidentally hit something. When they investigate, they find weird pieces of tentacle clinging to Evan’s car and nearby, a strange metallic orb. After messing around with it, they discover that it fires a highly destructive particle beam weapon, and they deduce that it and the tentacle must be of alien origin. As evidence of the alien invasion mounts, will these four knuckleheads be able to convince anyone in authority in time - or will they have to man up and stop the aliens themselves?

Hill, Stiller, Ayoade, and Vaughn discover that "orbit" takes on a whole new meaning...

This movie locked in as a must see for me the minute I found out Richard Ayoade was in it. My wife and I discovered a British sitcom called The IT Crowd that he stars in – and we have become huge fans of his quirky character Moss. The initial previews didn’t highlight him at all – sticking to Stiller, Vaughn, and Hill as the stars. But finally they featured him – with the announcer having problems pronouncing his last name (it’s Eye-yo-ah-day, by the way). I also thought it was interesting that after a couple of spots set up the alien invasion angle – they completely shifted the advertising to the three (or four) stars – with no mention of anything otherwordly going on. Consequently, I think some audience members are being caught off guard by the movie – which is a full on sci-fi comedy in the vein of Evolution or Paul. It’s also pretty vulgar – another expected development when you see Seth Rogen’s name among the writers.

While it’s not breaking much in the way of new ground, I had a good time with the movie. The four leads play their usual characters – Stiller the befuddled reactor; Vaughn a motormouthed party animal; Hill the outsider with anger issues, and Ayoade the nerdish and socially awkward one. Within the framework of the rather routine script – it is obvious director Schaffer has let the four run wild with improv – resulting in some hilarious four way verbal give and takes – and even periodically showing a conversational tangent from one cracking up the others on screen. Vaughn takes off in a couple of directions that are fairly bewildering, but just the sheer weirdness of his thought process is funny. For me, this improvisational style, some surprisingly silly moments, and the R rated depths the movie sinks to made it work just fine. It’s also worth mentioning that despite the comedic tone there are moments of graphic violence in the movie – it’s not wall to wall gore – but kind of surprising nonetheless. All four stars have very funny moments, and there’s good support from the rest of the cast, with DeWitt as Stiller’s wife and Forte as a prissy town policeman standing out – as well as the always hilarious R. Lee Ermey in a small role.

If you’re a fan of any of the stars or like goofy sci fi comedies, and don’t mind salty language and body fluid jokes this is probably a safe bet for you. Others might want to steer clear of this one.

Let's Get Out of Here ?

I can't be sure of the time code - our screening was delayed for some minutes by a thunderstorm's power surge knocking the projector offline - but after Ben Stiller climbs up and lifts the orb, Vince Vaughn adds an F bomb to make sure everyone knows he wishes them all to be elsewhere.

Eye Candy ?

Both main ladies are cute and all - but neither is showcased in a way that gets them on the list.

Sorry, ladies.

Buddha Man's Capsule Review
Buddha Man says "Dripping with gooey humor,
The Watch is worth the watch."

Thank you, BM! Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #79!

Fire Maidens from Outer Space  (Saturn Films, 1956)

And because we should really SEE the things highlighted to SEE:

I did SEE this movie - taped from a local television broadcast about 20 years ago - it was either channel 32 or channel 50 when I was living outside Chicago Illinois. To the best of my recollection it's okay - some fun stuff, some slow spots. The poster is great though!

Buck Rogers  (Universal, 1979)

After ABC had some success recouping costs by releasing the pilot of Battlestar Galactica to theaters as a movie the previous year, NBC decided to do the same thing with their pilot for Buck Rogers. But they did two things differently - they released the movie version to theaters first - in March - before the series premiered - in September. This meant no kids clamoring to go see it because they liked the show - they were hinging the whole thing on people going to see anything space opera after Star Wars. They also cheaped out and did nothing to build up the movie release - like the Galactica movie being released in Sensurround. It still made money - and launched the show to a successful first season. I have a real affection for the show - Erin Gray was another crush from my youth - but it is awfully influenced by the disco trend and consequently much campier than Battlestar Galactica.

Lovely But Deadly  (Juniper Releasing, 1981)

I saw this one on VHS with my movie pal Richard one afternoon after school. We howled through this goofy cheesefest as star Lucinda Dooling (NOT Lucinda Dickey, sadly) kicks butt on the pushers working her high school. Familiar faces abound, and happily everything on the poster happens in the movie, though not all of it shines with the gleam of competent filmmaking...

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Liebster Award Part Two!

Here's the second half of this Megapost -


An Award was Bestowed!

The Liebster Award was given to LGOOH by three wonderful folks:

Kaijinu from Sticky Red: A Bodycount Compendium

Harry from Maynard Morrissey's Horror Movie Diary

Michelle from The Girl Who Loves Horror

However, I have a (stolen) graphic that shows 4 Liebster awards, so I gave myself one too!

The first half presented the award rules and fulfilled the one that stated the recipient must post 11 things about themselves. As the award was given to me by 3 people - 33 things about myself it was!

You can read the first post by hitting THIS link.

Okay, next up - answering the 3 sets of eleven questions posed by my three blog buddies!


1. Had you ever daydream about something and what's the most memorable one you ever had?
  • I used to remember my night time dreams very well - and could even continue them the next night if I concentrated hard enough. I've had sonme epic night time dreams. My daydreams tend to be quick little snatches of visuals as I'm usually distracted away pretty quickly. My most incredible dream was this HUGE night dream where I was being pursued by a serial killer, and it was really weird and scary and frustrating, because parts of the serial killer's actions I could see on TV screens, but I kept getting called away before his identity was revealed on the screen. Made me nuts for the (seemingly) three weeks that dream seemed to go on that night.

2. Who's the one Comic Book hero you NEVER want to see made to a movie out of respect and fear of flopping?
  • I'm going to say Millie the Model, because Stan Lee used to refer to her all the time. All others are fair game. But don't mess them up, filmmakers!

3. Will you try to dance Jamie Lee Curtis' disco scene in Prom Night (1980) with a partner?
  • Absolutely. Fire up the music.

4. Name one of the least likely movie franchise entry that suddenly became your number one fave?
  • Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam, which was a movie from the Ernest P. Worrell franchise.

This guy.
  • Dr. Otto was a crazy comedy - and perfectly silly despite some slow spots.

5. What's the weirdest experience you had involving a movie? (theatres, DVD releases, etc.)
  • Seeing I Know What You Did Last Summer in the theater with the kids from Dawson's Creek - but this was while we were shooting the first season - before Dawson's had aired any episodes. After the screening of IKWYDLS, we were interviewed by a local TV affiliate about the movie because it was written by Kevin Williamson, whose TV show Dawson's Creek was filming right here in town! The news show showed the clip - not realizing they had several stars-to-be on tape praising the writing of the movie (of course, since it was the writing of our boss!)

6. Did you ever had a crush on a fantasy character in your teen years? If yes, who?
  • As I indicated in Part One - Wonder Woman as played by Lynda Carter!

Any excuse at all...

7. If a movie character out of your fave flicks suddenly appeared in front of your doorstep, who will it be and what'll you do?
  • James Bond, and we'll go bombing around in his spy car!

8. WATCH OUT! EXTRA TERRESTRIALS! And you have a tool shed behind you! What'll you do?
  • Go hide in the tool shed. Hope there's some clean underwear there.

9. With all these news on rocket launches, disease outbreaks and people killing each other, how close do you think we are before things go 28 Weeks Later?
  • Not more than 27 Weeks Away...

10. If you had the power to change yer appearance, who's face yer gonna try first?
  • Some hot guy the women all love - give that a try.

11. Worst tasting delicacy you ever encountered?

Octopus. It was the texture more than the taste - it was like eating a fish flavored chunk of automobile tire.

Second up - Harry!

Harry got hit with er, was awarded four of these babies, so after answering all his questions, he advised those to whom he bestowed the award to pick eleven from the questions he'd answered. So here goes...

1. What do you enjoy most about blogging?
  • Getting to put all this crazy junk stored in my head out there a post at a time - and finding people don't entirely hate it!
2. Which game from your childhood do you wish you could play again?
  • There was this Monopoly ripoff called Creature Features - and it involved the buying and selling of horror movies instead of real estate. It was awesome, and I wish I had it still.

The box.

The board.

3. What was the first thing you posted on your blog and why?
  • A wordy introduction - and in hindsight, no good idea why. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. Now it seems like a fairly stuffy first post.

4. What is your favorite beverage?
  • Coke Zero with coffee a close second.

5. Do you like thunderstorms? Why or why not?
  • I do enjoy them, but I fear for my electronics. They are like nature's fireworks, and can be very spectacular. Also, once in a while on a stormy day it's fun to put on a pot of chili and watch old movies all day.

6. Do you like Musicals? Do you find yourself breaking out into song for days on end after seeing one? (I know I do.)
  • I don't watch them constantly, but I do enjoy musicals. I just saw the nationwide 60th anniversary screening of Singing in the Rain at my local theater a couple of weeks ago.

7.  What do you do in your spare time other than blog?
  • Spare time? BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
  • No, seriously, I read and watch movies.

8.  What movie got you addicted to horror movies?
  • Halloween (1978)

9. What's your favorite holiday and why?
  • When I was a kid, it was of course Christmas. Now that I'm older, it's Halloween - because we decorate the house, and I watch nothing but horror the entire month of October. And it seems this past year we kicked off a new yearly tradition - the Crazy Movie Weekend: Halloween Horrorfest! Can't wait for this year's!
10. What is your greatest memory as a child?
  • The summers. No school, playing outside, swimming, and staying up incredibly late to watch weird old movies on the late late show in those years before home video.

11. Favorite food? 
  • I can tear up a steak, but I have to give the top position to pizza.

And last but certainly not least - Michelle's questions.

1. How did you come up with the name for your blog and are you still happy with it now?
  • There was a question in the original Trivial Pursuit game that asked what was (I think) the most cliched (or used?) line of dialogue in movies - and the answer was "Let's get out of here!" As a lot of useless facts do - this factoid stuck in my head for decades. In the last few years I'd been thinking about doing a movie review site - before it was called blogging - and finally jumped in and commenced after it was called blogging. And I wanted to feature this most used line of dialogue as a centerpiece, so I decided to use the timecode in each movie where "Let's get out of here!" appeared as a feature in my reviews. And what else could the blog be called? Let's Get Out of Here! I am very happy with it - as I now have a great line for celebrities to say when they endorse my blog!

2. You decide on where you're going to go for a 3 week vacation by throwing a dart on a map. Where do you hope the dart doesn't land?
  • Off the map on the blank wall. Which is a distinct possibility with my dart throwing "skills."

3. Can you trill, or "roll your r's"?
  • Oh yes, and I can roll my tongue up into a circle too.

4. What is your favorite breakfast food?
  • BACON!!!

5. What celebrity of the same sex do you think is totally hot?
  • Ru Paul. (Heh heh heh).

6. Have you ever had a horror-movie related dream? If so (and if you can remember), describe!
  • Sometime in the last year or so I had one of my epic dreams where I was being chased by Michael Myers. He kept popping up and almost getting me - and I remember I hid in a car that wasn't mine several streets away just to get some rest. That dream seemed to last days, too.
Next time...

7. I'm getting my new Poltergeist movie poster framed and I have limited wall space. Which poster should I take down to make room for the new one: Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Resident Evil, The Evil Dead, or Saw?
  • Goodbye Pulp Fiction. The rest are all horror movies, or at least have the word Kill involved.

8. What was Robert DeNiro's best movie role?
  • Fearless Leader in The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
  • (Actually, think I'll go with Rupert Pupkin from King of Comedy.)

9. Do you think children should be allowed to watch horror movies and why?
  • It depends on the child, but yes, and it needs to be eased in - let them watch Goosebumps and the old Universal Monster movies when they're ready. Save the blood guts and gore for later.

10. What is the most visually stunning film you have ever seen?
  • Star Trek - The Motion Picture was it for a long time - but I think I have to give it to Inception now.

11. What was the last thing you ate?
  • Lays' Spicy Cayenne and Cheese Kettle Chips.
Okay - now to bestow the award - and because this thing has really been making the rounds - I'm going to get creative. The rules state you must bestow the award on 11 people. Well, I see that "11" as "1" and "1" side by side - so I'm giving the award to two great blogs.

Luana at Skating Buffalo

Maurice and Nigel at The Geek Twins

And here are the eleven questions for them to answer - (Maurice and Nigel can split them up any way they see fit.)

1. What is the very earliest movie memory you have?

2. Favorite moviegoing snack?

3. Do you enjoy "so bad they're good" movies?

4. What celebrity would you most like to meet?

5. Name a guilty pleasure in pop culture.

6. MST3K, Elvira, or Joe Bob Briggs?

7. Has a movie ever scared you so bad you had trouble sleeping; or made you nauseous?

8. Give me your dream cast for a remake of anything.

9. What is the perfect breakfast?

10. Police Academy - can't believe they made that many; or why did they stop?

11. What is your favorite post at Let's Get Out of Here?

(Yes, I'm that cheesy!)

I look forward to the award receipt posts from Luana and the Mitchells if they choose to participate!

Thanks again to the my blog buddies who gave me this award - this has been fun! (For me, anyway!)

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Saturday Night at the Movies 7/28/12!

Who cares what picture we see?

What kind of world would it be if Olympic champion gymnast Kurt Thomas didn't? Not one I care to live in, so we'll go with his choice:

Let's celebrate the kickoff of the 30th Olympiad with this wonderfully silly martial arts flick - which put Olympic gold medal winner Kurt Thomas in the role of buttkicking superspy. His weapon? His body - and several conveniently placed pieces of gymnastics equipment  - like those parallel bars jammed into that alley - or that big rock shaped just like a pommel horse right in the town square.

This one is hilarious, and it looks good on DVD, sitting right over there in the video vault. I could have it spinning in seconds, if you wanted to come hang out and watch it with me - even tonight!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Liebster Award Part One!

An Award has Been Bestowed!

The Liebster Award was given to LGOOH by three wonderful folks:

Kaijinu from Sticky Red: A Bodycount Compendium

Harry from Maynard Morrissey's Horror Movie Diary

Michelle from The Girl Who Loves Horror

However, I have a (stolen) graphic that shows 4 Liebster awards, so I'm going to give one to myself too!

Here are the rules!

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves
2. Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
3. Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
4. Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post.
5. Go to their page and tell them.

For all the love the number eleven gets in these rules - you would have thought there would be eleven rules.

Now there are!

7. Have fun.
8. No red wine with fish. Unless you like red wine with fish.
9. "I" before "E" except after "C".
10. Remember that the best way to fight jetlag is to take off your socks and shoes, and walk around, making fists with your toes.
11. Always bet on black.

So here we go - 33 things about me. (I already know everything about me - so I'm not adding any extra bits from giving the award to myself!)

1. I really like bacon.

2. The first movie I remember seeing in the theater was Night of Dark Shadows. I was four years old.

3. I once spent 60 days living in Florida in 1988. In that time I watched 125 movies.

4. I have met local horror hosts Dr. Paul Bearer (central Florida) and Misty Brew (Southern Illinois).

5. I met comic book inker Bob Wiacek one time and inadvertently insulted him.

6. My favorite color is purple.

7. I wrote two feature length screenplays in college. Both were romantic comedies.

8. I have written six feature length scripts since then. Five of them were horror, one was a B movie spoof.

9. I have sent scripts to Full Moon and Troma; and once pitched a script to 70's drive-in movie legend Earl Owensby. None were purchased.

10. I have also submitted treatments to Full Moon more recently for the third Evil Bong and two other movies. None were purchased.

11. Burt Reynolds has called me The Best Trivia Player in the U.S. Not sure who's got me overseas, but I challenge the buzzard here and now!

12. When I was a tot - the opening to the soap opera Dark Shadows - stormy graphics, creepy theme song - would send me screaming from the room.

13. My very first Halloween costume was "The Spider." Not Spider-Man. One of those cheap wraparound tie-on tops with plastic mask held on with a rubber band; supposed to be a giant arachnid. I couldn't have been more than three years old. I wonder if that's why I'm arachnophobic now?

14. My most recent Halloween costume was this one:

That's right. I'm "God's Gift to Women." Look at them swarming me.

15. The first thing I purchased off Ebay was a reprint Creature from the Black Lagoon poster. It arrived with a big hole in it, which put me off Ebay for a while.

16. The most recent thing I purchased off Ebay was a set of lobby cards from Earl Owensby's Death Driver a copy of Earl Owensby's Chain Gang on DVD. (another auction ended since I started this. I'm on an Earl Owensby kick right now.) It was recently enough they it haven't hasn't arrived yet.

17. My first TV crush was Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter).

Any excuse...

18. My first real life crush was a girl named Laura. She was some years older than me and friends with my brothers. I have always liked the "older woman."

19. My first date was with a girl named Lori. We went to see An American Werewolf in London.

20. My last date was with a girl named Jenny. We went to see Scream.

21. My mother-in-law has created several advertising icons for me to own - she's made me a Bad Andy (Domino's Pizza); a Spongemonkey (Quizno's Subs) and a googly eyed pile of money (Geico).

22. I played a pretty pompous Dr. Van Helsing in a high school production of Dracula.

23. There has been a lot of theater going movie watching in my life - a fair amount as a kid; nearly every weekend in high school; a lot in college; then a whole lot as reviewer for a local entertainment guide from 1992-2001. But it took until 1994 before I sat in a theater completely alone. The movie was Milk Money. Guess I understand why too.

24. I am known as such a James Bond fan I used to have people call me after they attended a new movie to let me know they saw the trailer for the upcoming 007 movie on the front. I would then usually head to the theater next chance I got and cajole my way into the auditorium long enough to see it. Now of course they pop up on the internet. Truth be told - I kind of liked going to the trouble and first seeing them on the Big Screen.

25. The first movie I have vague impressions of seeing with my folks at the drive-in? Little Big Man (1970), but probably seen in 1971 since drive-ins were usually second run. The most recent movie I have seen at the drive-in? Night Angel, from 1990. The best movie I ever saw at the drive-in? The Evil Dead. The worst movie I ever saw at the drive-in? Can't say, because I always liked going to the drive-in!

26. The first movie I ever owned was The Evil Dead. On BETA. It was given to me for doing some industrial spying for a local video store owner. He had the first tapes in town - and when another guy opened his own video store - I was sent to check out what he had available to rent. For this, I was given the store's copy of The Evil Dead (really because the store owner had been told it was too gory to keep on the shelf.) I still have that Beta tape somewhere.

27. The first movie I ever bought was Basket Case (on VHS!), because director Frank Henenlotter brilliantly convinced the execs at Media Home Entertainment that movies on tape didn't need to retail for $100, but could be sold to newly minted home video buffs at a lower price point. The price for Basket Case was $19.95 - but I got a copy at dealer cost from the same video store owner - paying only $15 for the tape! I still have that tape somewhere too!

28. I almost doubled Ned Beatty in a movie. And no, it wasn't in Deliverance.

29. The first interview I ever conducted was with the great character actor Brion James - for Psychotronic Video magazine.

30. I love popcorn, and have some at the theater nearly every time I go.

31. Thanks to a lovely camera operator named Malcolm - I own a crew sweater from The Living Daylights.

32. First saw my name on a movie screen when I saw Virus in 1999.

33. First saw my name on television when The Birds II: Land's End aired on Showtime in 1993.


Okay, well, this has turned out to be a pretty danged long post - so I will answer all the questions posed to me - but I will do it in a Part Two which I'll post as soon as it's ready. In that post I will also bestow the award to those I have chosen.

Hopefully two medium long posts is better than one murderously long one. I am a wordy cuss.

(And you thought you went long and self indulgent, Michelle! I'm having to go with two posts to hopefully prevent a mutiny!)

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #78!

Invisible Invaders  (United Artists, 1959)

There's a helluva lot of action going on in that poster for a movie that runs 67 minutes and lifts all of its action scenes bodily from old serials. Still, it's kinda fun, and it sure seems like George Romero must have seen this on the late show sometime in the mid 60's...

Rosemary's Baby  (Paramount, 1968)

A classic creepfest from producer William Castle and director Roman Polanski - and an absolutely knockout poster.

Slaughter in San Francisco  (Golden Harvest, 1974)

This Hong Kong chopsocky flick was originally supposed to star Bruce Lee, but he had a falling out with director Wei Lo (don't believe that Americanized credit on the poster!) and the film was shelved. Later, it was put back into production with an actor named Don Wong taking over the lead role. It was filmed in San Francisco but was only released overseas in the mid 70's, with Chuck Norris in a few brief appearances as the villain. It was not released in America until 1981 (!) after Chuck had become a better known quantity thanks to his heroic roles in movies like Good Guys Wear Black and The Octagon. As the poster above shows - the film distributors did not let Chuck's limited screen time prevent them from featuring him rather prominently on the poster and above the title...

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday Night at the Movies 7/21/12!

Who cares what picture we see?

I can't prove whether Carrie Snodgress would or not - but nonetheless - here's tonight's choice:

By the way, gotta say: That is the WORST poster I've EVER featured on this blog. When I searched for it - and this came up - I kept thinking it was some fan's Photoshop version. Wow. Yeah. Maybe "The night has... an appetite" but "The Forsaken has...a crappy poster."

I haven't seen this "vampires in the desert" movie - but my old buddy Kerr Smith acted in it between seasons of Dawson's Creek and he told me a couple of fun stories about the making of it. I have recently added the DVD to the video vault, meaning you could be watching me watch it for the first time any time - even tonight, if I answer the door and find you standing there!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Video Vault of Mora Tau 7/17/12!

For this trek into the VVoMT - this blog's good buddy Melissa Bradley inspired this post thanks to her comment on this past Saturday Night at the Movies post - wherein she waxed nostalgic for the way the American Broadcasting Company used to be the exclusive source for the James Bond movies - and they continued rerunning them for almost twenty years, from Dr. No through The Living Daylights.

They finally lost the license to show...and rather appropriately it was for Licence to Kill, which premiered on Fox. Then, the other networks jumped in to the bidding, and NBC scored the first showing of GoldenEye; while a couple of years later CBS bid highest to show Tomorrow Never Dies for the first time.

By the time The World is Not Enough was released the networks weren't showing movies any more - so 007 moved to cable - first on TBS for a few years, then over to Spike TV, where I believe they currently still reside, though other cable networks do schedule one now and again.

But this is about the long love affair between ABC and 007 - and here are several short promos from across the 80's. (You can really tell when VCRs came into American households - just look at the earliest available TV promos on YouTube!)

We have to mention the late great Ernie Anderson - formerly a horror host in Cleveland (Ghoulardi) and later a very successful announcer - and the voice of ABC for me and scads of other television fiends in the 80's. Of course, you remember the great way he'd say The Looovvve Boat!

This is from sometime in 1980 - a feature film that was then 17 years old. Wow.

December 23, 1979:

November 2, 1986:


January 1, 1989:

April 13, 1986:

This one is a well remembered favorite - because I had it taped (on BETA!) along with the movie and watched it a few dozen times on my own tape. From November 22, 1981:

And lastly - from September 24, 1982 - a little clip that shows how racy the James Bond movies were considered back in the day:

Thanks to Melissa for prompting this look back - sure - I have the whole series coming in a Blu-Ray box set in a couple of months - but there was something very special about watching these movies on network television on a Sunday night.

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #77!

Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein  (Fenix Cooperativa Cinematografica, 1972)

The American poster for this French movie really likes to bend the truth - firstly, this is a Gothic horror movie directed by the incredible Jess Franco that does feature Dracula, a werewolf, and the Frankenstein monster tussling. However, despite that tagline - it certainly wasn't "the first time" for this. The Universal Studios Monsters were getting into donnybrooks all through the 1940's, and there had been a Dracula vs Frankenstein just a few years previously thanks to Al Adamson. But speaking of the Universal Studios Monsters - there's the bigger problem with the poster - why does it feature images of Karloff as the Monster and Lon Chaney, Jr as the Wolfman? They certainly aren't in this movie! Despite all this, I'd like to check this one out sometime!

Wicked as They Come  (Columbia Pictures, 1956)

I'm not sure why, but this was released in England in May 1956 - yet didn't make its US debut until February 1957. I haven't seen it - maybe it was a little racy. According to the poster, there was certainly plenty of wicked to go around!

Evil in the Deep - AKA The Treasure of Jamaica Reef  (D & R Film Project, 1975)

This low budget adventure flick did not fare well at the box office - although it played theaters in Canada - it was not released in America until TV network CBS showed it late night in 1980. And this despite a cast that included Stephen Boyd (Fantastic Voyage), Cheryl Ladd (TV's Charlie's Angels - and here billed under her real name Cheryl Stoppelmoor), and best of all - Chuck Woolery (TV's Love Connection) !!!  I haven't seen it, but I want to - and it looks like it might be available in its entirety online. Hmmm....

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Saturday Night at the Movies 7/14/12!

Who cares what picture we see?

There's not a shred of evidence to support it, but I believe Putter Smith most certainly would, so we shall so choose:

After a one movie hiatus, Sean Connery came back to replace the guy who replaced him - but the movie seems geared Moore for the next guy...

This is the 007 movie that probably had the biggest impact on my real life - because it takes place in Las Vegas - and that was where I got married - staying at Circus Circus (which appears in the movie) and going on a bit of a Bond spree while I was there.

As we've been doing with these jumps onto the Bond Wagon, let's throw in a few extras too - here's a teaser trailer which features some very cool shot-for-the-trailer graphics in the opening seconds before switching over to boiling the pre-credits sequence down to about a minute.

I also love that the movie was scheduled for Christmas - which was when all the Big Movies were scheduled to be released back in the day - before Jaws made it all about the Summertime...

Here's a couple of other poster ideas that weren't used:

And because I'm feeling expansive here's a fake trailer - that works hard to show us what this movie might have been like - if George Lazenby had repeated in the role - and the diamond plot had been woven around Bond's revenge on Blofeld for the murder of Tracy.

Lastly, here's another piece of concept art designed for a poster - but not used...

The seventh 007 flick has all the usual action and stunts, but throws in some really witty lines (courtesy screen co-writer Tom Mankiewicz) and does come off as a "Roger Moore Bond starring Sean Connery" but you know I love the dickens out of it, and it resides in the video vault one a fine DVD (awaiting Blu-Ray release in a couple of months) and could be spinning in the player in seconds if you would like to come visit me and watch it!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Project Terrible - 1313: Actor Slash Model!

The seventh round of this blog fest - the second for LGOOH - gets off to a meh start with one of the 1313 horror flicks from prolific producer/director David DeCoteau - which was assigned to me by Alec over at Mondo Bizarro.

David DeCoateau - reunited with his Nightmare Sisters.
(l to r) Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, and Brinke Stevens

Let's talk about David DeCoteau for a moment. I first became aware of him when he was directing for Charlie Band during the early Full Moon days back in the early 90's. I thought he did a corker job with the third Puppet Master movie, and that led me to seek out some of his other non-Full Moon movies - some of which I really liked (Nightmare Sisters) and some I found merely okay (Creepozoids). But when his stuff was good it was a lot of fun, so I watched nearly every movie the man made, enjoying them for the most part.

Then came Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy. Here was a movie that was soooo bad...How bad was it...it was soooo bad I'll be assigning it to someone in Project Terrible Round 8. (You have all been warned.)

I couldn't wrap my head around how the same filmmaker who'd provided the low budget thrills and character actor goodness on view in Puppet Master III could also be the guy who'd cranked out Ancient Evil - but there it was. I started to avoid movies with his name on them.

Ancient Evil was the first movie under DeCoteau's Rapidheart Pictures banner - and as DeCoteau came out of the closet in his personal life - or at least became more visible in the fan community as a gay man - he geared most of the Rapidheart productions into gay themed horror films - movies like The Brotherhood and its five sequels (so far) and Beastly Boyz. They feature casts full of attractive young men who have a penchant for spending a great deal of time shirtless as something monstrous goes on. For the last year or so David DeCoteau has been working overtime - producing and directing a series of movies under the blanket title 1313 - again horror themed flicks with lots of good looking young men in the cast. The twelfth and thirteenth of these movies (!) are in post production right now - all 13 of the...er...1313 movies were made by DeCoteau since 2010, and that's not counting the seven other movies he's made through that same period.

I haven't been watching much of David DeCoteau's 21st century output - prior to this assignment the most recent movie I'd seen of his was Puppet Master: Axis of Evil - another underbudgeted and underdone Full Moon movie that could have been so much better.

So now I'm assigned 1313: Actor Slash Model. And here we go.

Michelle Bauer plays Suzy, a TV producer with a big mansion. She is casting for a new television program. The show is going to star lots of attractive young men who will frequently be shown without shirts. Trent (no one else gets credited. They're welcome.) was signed to appear on the show - but then he was cut from the show because Suzy decided to go with another, hunkier young man who is more of a model than an actor. Trent - the actor - shows up at Suzy's big house with a knife - and proceeds to slash the male models-turned-actors there. So - the title turns out to be a funny play on words - and the cleverness stops right there.

Several young men come to the mansion for various meetings and auditions and such across the movie's 72 minutes. Singly they wander the house, usually shirtless, calling for anyone to appear. No one appears for several minutes as they go from room to room to room to room to room. Eventually, Trent pops up, says something to them, and pulls out a knife. Cut to an exterior shot of the mansion - and a  SCHWING! sound effect of the knife slashing takes care of the murder.

Trent wanders around the house with the knife for several minutes, with an interior monologue that culminates with what he said to his victim moments before.

Suddenly everyone else appears, and there will be a group scene between three or more people.

Then one new actor will appear at the mansion - which is suddenly barren of people again - until Trent appears, speaks, and pulls out the knife - cut to exterior. SCHWING!

Trent wanders around the house with the knife for several minutes, with an interior monologue that culminates with what he said to his victim moments before. (See I can pad my review just like they pad the movie!)

Repeat until end credits.

Well, I liked seeing Michelle Bauer, anyway.

More than anything else, I'm just boggled by these movies. They are slickly shot on HD video, and look nice. But the acting is poor, and there's nothing of any interest happening in any exploitable way - there's no nudity (male or female); there's no onscreen violence (graphic or not); no sex scenes, nothing. You do get a lot of guys in shorts and speedos though - and maybe that's what DeCoteau is going for - very bland "starter" horror for gay teens (or girls - though there's enough gay subtext to maybe put them off) with lots of eye candy and little else. But even with that theory - why do the movies have to be this padded and inert? The first time Trent does his post-kill monologue while wandering the house - it's fine. The fourth or fifth time it's just ludicrous. I understand these are extremely low budget movies (the IMDB lists them at a budget of $1,000,000 each - BWAH -HA-HA-HA! If they spent $10,000 on any of them I'd be surprised.) and they're probably shot in three days - but some crisp dialogue and a clever plot that actually runs for 72 minutes wouldn't cost any more to produce if handled correctly. Do I even need to mention the slow running end credits with lots of fake names?

If these movies are something that someone somewhere is enjoying - whether the aforementioned gay teens or anyone - then I'm glad these movies exist for them. But for real horror fans - these are insulting efforts. David DeCoteau has the ability to turn out some viable low budget thrills with next to no money and very little time. He's shown it several times in the last twenty-five years. And I do plan to watch 1313: Cougar Cult - since it reunites the director with Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens (see the first picture in this post). I hope it will be something like the old movies of his I enjoyed. But we'll have to see.

More like this one, please.

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Project Terrible Round 7!

After the scintillating movies I got assigned during round six (Dreamland, Creature, and Grim Reaper) I was invited back for more! And masochist that I am - I plunged right back in to round seven - and the reviews are starting to appear! The movies I assigned to my blog buddies are marked with a *. I went with a theme this time - all my assignments were for movies made here in NC - and all but one of them right here in Wilmington. (Living Legend was shot outside Charlotte.)

Maynard Morrissey's Horror Film Diary

Mondo Bizarro

Gaming Creatively
Gangs Of The Dead
Living Legend *
The Initiation Of Sarah (2006)

Let's Get Out Of Here
1313: Actor Slash Model
Alligator X
Golden Needles
The Amazing Transparent Man

The Girl Who Loves Horror
Anatomy Of A Psycho
Butchered *
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

This post will be the go-to spot for PT Round 7 updates - I will keep the titles up to date as links when then reviews appear. Well, NOW I will.

Watch this space! My first review for this round is appearing this week!

And until the next post - which might be that review - you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #76!

Hard to Kill  (Warner Bros., 1990)

Although he'd debuted in Above the Law a couple of years previously, and it had been at least a modest hit - this action flick did boffo box office and turned Steven Seagal into the first action star of the 90's. It is well worth a watch. Anything he did after the mid-90's - well, you'll have to take your chances there.

Black Mama, White Mama  (American International, 1973)

Despite a pretty serious set-up and a lot of violence and blood - this is a fairly breezy AIP action movie - the lovely Margaret Markov and the incredible Pam Grier pulling off a distaff  Defiant Ones as they break a Filipino prison in chains and try to stay one step ahead of the law without killing each other in the process.

Silent Madness  (Almi Pictures, 1984)

Wow! Here's an 80's slasher I'd never heard of until this year - and it's in 3-D! I need to track this one down ASAP!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Saturday Night at the Movies 7/7/12!

Who cares what picture we see?

I wonder if Clyde the Orangutan does? Well, while we wonder about that we will check this one out:

I saw this one with my parents at the theater - and loved it. So did audiences across the country - it was a huge hit for Clint - a real change of pace flick his advisers had tried to steer him away from. (It was rumored to have been concocted with Burt Reynolds in mind - which seems right.) Clint - wearing the great character name Philo Beddoe, travels around Southern California bare knuckle fighting for a living, and hanging with his buddy Clyde - an orangutan who is almost as saucy as Clint's Ma - the amazing Ruth Gordon in a career third act that went on for several years. You also get Geoffrey Lewis as Philo's human pal - and Geoff's girlfriend is the always adorable Beverly D'Angelo. Sondra Locke - then Clint's main squeeze - plays the female lead - and while I'm glad they got to spend the time together - she's never been one of my favorites, but she's okay here.

All in all, a very fun flick from '78, and it resides in the video vault on a brand spanking new used Blu-Ray which I can fire up anytime - even tonight - you know, if you came over and all.

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Independence Day!

Happy Birthday America!

I think that's best expressed by Marvel Comics circa 1976, and Patriotic Eye Candy!

I hope you have a safe and sane Fourth of July with plenty of friends, food, and fun - and maybe your own favorite superhero or eye candy too!

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Maniacal Movie Poster Monday #75!

The Indestructible Man  (Allied Artists, 1956)

This rather stodgy revenge opus was apparently shown a lot in various afternoon movie and late late show slots across the country, but I didn't see it until an airing on AMC, I think. It's not great, but I've always liked Chaney, so it's worth checking out. Great poster though!

Three the Hard Way  (Allied Artists, 1974)

No action fan could resist the teaming of these three stars - and indeed - this is a lot of trashy fun - directed by Gordon Parks Jr. and produced by Harry Bernsen (Corbin's pop!) I'd like to see this again - which works out well as I just added it to the video vault!

Hercules  (Cannon Film Distributors, 1983)

This awesomely silly Italian fantasy gives us "The Incredible" Lou Ferrigno (with a dubbed voice) as the Grecian hero, with lots of director Lewis Coates's (read Luigi Cozzi's) patented special effects.

Until next post, you Can Poke Me With A Fork, Cause I Am Outta Here!